I'm Frustrated.

*in·tern·ship

 /ˈinˌtərnˌSHip/

noun

noun: internship; plural noun: internships

1  the position of a student or trainee who works in an organization, sometimes without pay, in order to gain work experience or satisfy requirements for a qualification.

2  "They encouraged students to apply for newspaper internships"


Source: Dictionary.com

*Millennial: A person born between 1981-1996

   I’m frustrated and honestly, I’m angry.

   While Millennials* make up about half of the work force, the unemployment rate among them is a staggering 12.8%, according to Forbes. I’m starting to understand why.

   I’ve been applying for Internships for almost a year now. I’ve applied for internships that I’m over qualified for, under qualified for, and everything in-between. It has been proven impossible to get what I’ve mistaken as a “simple” internship.

  I’ve found unpaid internship positions requiring one year worth of work experience. I’m sorry, but isn’t the purpose of an internship to gain work experience? Or am I (and the definition of internship*) wrong?

  On top of the already highly competitive work field, and impossible standards- I recently learned that many companies use an automated hiring process. That means: if your resume doesn’t have the keywords they’re looking for, it’s rejected before someone even looks at it.

And THAT is why I’m angry. I will accept the competitive playing field, but keyword cuts without any other consideration? The World Wide Web has presented us with many advantages in life, but it seems to have brought equal disadvantages too. Almost all applications are online now. There is no more face-to-face, nice to meet you, see I’m a real person, first impressions. There is only online entity and your resume. We’re not done yet though! Lets add more layers to this towering cake. I used the phrase: “World Wide Web” for a reason. Why? Because THAT’S whom you’re competing against, anyone else on the planet with access to the same site you were at. Which makes me understand the keyword process because how else is HR supposed to siphon through all those applications? (Don't mistake my comprehension of 'why' for understanding because I strongly believe that is not fair.)

  One of my friends shared a meme on Facebook (I’ll leave it below). I shared it, and got a few comments, and text messages from other frustrated Millennials who can’t seem to claw their way into the work field. That hurt my heart to see just how impossible it has been for not just my peers, but my friends too.

  Back in May I applied for an internship that I swore I was going to get. I felt like the perfect fit, I hit every qualification they had, I already had multiple ideas for their socials, and I even wrote a mock- blog for them as an example of the type of writing I would do for their company. (Managing their blog was part of the intern duties.) I practiced interview questions, I had Instagram influencers willing and ready to partner with the company for exposure, and I memorized their company morals and locations. I didn’t even get an interview. To say I felt defeated is an understatement. I had done everything I could possibly imagine. I did my absolute best, and then some. I was absolutely crushed. Even though my ego was crushed, I kept applying to other places. I even got help re-working and updating my resume, and still nothing. My best wasn’t good enough then, and it doesn’t seem good enough now.

 “It’s all about who you know.” Networking is important, but what happened to opportunity? Did we really use all that up on the Baby Boomers?

How do you get yourself back on the path of positivity? Are you having or did you have the same struggles? How’d you over come it?

It's Mental Health Awareness Week!

So, lets talk about it. Mental health has always been one of those tiptoe topics. You don’t want to reveal too much about yourself, you don’t want to offend anyone or make someone accidentally uncomfortable. But at some point or another – we all go through something. We all break down; some breakdowns are just easier to recover from than others. 

I quickly mentioned my own face with depression in my last post. Well, I more or less rolled over the topic. Because that’s what we do, we don’t want to rest on it for long. To say it’s easy to talk about your struggles would be a lie. Maybe it’s easy for some people, but anyone who knows me will know – I am not that person. I will say this: one of the dumbest things I’ve ever done was try to combat my depression alone.

For me, depression was a mixture of a suppressed past, stressful present, and my cynical look at the future. I struggled with self-love. I hated who I was, and what I looked like. I spent most days wishing I could be anyone else. I was going to a university I didn’t like for a major that I absolutely hated. I didn’t have a group of friends. I had two girlfriends that I felt like I couldn’t talk to because they’re moms with full on lives. I felt like my issues were self-made so it was my own problem. I didn’t want to talk to my family because I didn’t want to worry anyone or make them feel guilty in some way. I wasn’t open to making friends because I didn’t trust anyone. I didn’t feel like anyone in my life would stay because I thought I sucked so badly.

I hated myself, and my situation. I hated myself for my situation because most of it was a repercussion of my own decisions. I refused to accept my past. I had completely started to shut down and shut out the few people I had. I became… insufferable – to say the least. I was lashing out at everyone around me. I wasn’t sleeping. I would eat once a day. I would lie in bed for majority of the day. I almost failed out of college. So, finally I decided I had a choice to make. I could continue to further destroy my life, or I could do the scary thing and ask for help.

I opted for the scary thing. Making that doctors appointment was one of the most difficult things I’d ever done, aside from going to that appointment and explaining what an insufferable, despicable human I’d become. But I wasn’t alone. My best friend went with me, she held my hand when I needed it, and held me accountable when I wanted to lie and say: “It’s not that bad.” It was. It was THAT bad.

So what’s my point? I’m not telling you all of this stuff just to tell you. The purpose is – you are not alone. There are people who care about you, and will make time for you to help you through a tough situation. No one is perfect, despite whatever illusion social media feeds you. We all require some extra love sometimes, from others and ourselves. We also require acceptance, and tolerance. Again, most of those we have to find within ourselves first. After I learned how to stop hating myself – everything got better. It wasn’t all at once, but it came. It’s ok to breakdown. It’s ok to give yourself time to lie in bed and forget the world. But it’s all about getting back up after. It’s breathing through the overwhelming emotions, the anxiety, and the sadness. It’s about knowing that you’ve survived it, and even though it wasn’t fun you did it. If you’re struggling with mental health, start somewhere. It can be here; it can be an anonymous phone line, a friend, a mentor, or family. Just don’t try to go at it alone because you don’t have to. No matter what lies you tell yourself, you’re not alone and you’re not broken. So, lets talk about it.

Suicide hotline/crisis call center: 1-800-273-8255

www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

All the Feels

I guess part of working on your vulnerability is working on allowing yourself to feel all of the emotions. Including the ones that make you uncomfortable.

For me, the main emotion I try to ignore is sadness. I know it’s inevitable, but I’m an avoider. I’ll start to feel sad and then I’ll do whatever I can to take my mind off of it. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, except, I never just accept the emotion.

So once I slow down (because eventually you have to) and the dust settles…sadness sets in again. Rinse and repeat the cycle.

            I’ve learned it’s more exhausting running from the feeling than the feeling itself. I also think the avoidance played a major roll in my depression a few years ago. I couldn’t run from the overwhelming emotions anymore, but I also didn’t know how to handle them and I collapsed under the weight. It was to the point where I was lashing at out at everyone around me, I couldn’t sleep at night, I was eating once a day, and I nearly failed out of college. My depression was caused by a multitude of demons, but the main demon was myself. I was inflicting emotional harm on myself and running from the damage. In return, I would make the same mistakes over and over again because – what did I learn if I gave it no attention?

            Life is a constant learning curve. I wasn’t feeling my best today, so I tried to address why, and then let myself feel it. Tomorrow is a new day, and I have hope that it’ll be better. But if it isn’t, that’s ok because the other thing I’ve learned is- this will pass if I let it.

            

Year of the Fearless

I’m working on releasing my fears. I had a friend text me on New Year’s, and he said: “last year was the year of the comeback. I need a theme for this year, and I don’t know what it should be.” I suggested: “Year of the fearless.” Because who can’t use a little more courage? It only took me four months to take my own advice and really start to step out. I self-depreciate when I don’t mean to, so I never talked about my blog. So…Step one: share my blog.

I love to write. I get it from my mama. Except, I’ve never seen her share anything she writes. Not even with me. It was a family member who told me she’s a talented writer. I’m not saying I think I’m talented, but I have enough to say to where I want to share it. (Hello self-depreciation, we’ll work on you later.)

One of the purposes of this blog was because I wanted people to feel less alone in those shitty feelings, we like to keep to ourselves. Whether those feelings are: rejection, stagnancy, low self-esteem, or the empty feeling of rock bottom. I think it’s important to share your experiences because not only can someone learn from your mistakes, but they can know they aren’t alone. No matter how lonely one may feel. They can know someone else went through the same situation…just the details were different.

I told a very small handful of people that I started a blog, and that’s because I was embarrassed and I was afraid of what people would think. I’m basically airing out my dirty laundry of unsuccessful dating, and struggles to find a sense of self. But haven’t we all been there? So why am I embarrassed to share something I feel proud of more times than not?

I have to stop letting fear control my life. I have to stop allowing it to dictate what I do, and how I do it. I need to take a deep breath, and jump. After all, it is the year of the fearless.

What would your first step out of fear be?

Happy Earth Day!

         

      

            Hello Earthlings, and happy Earth Day! I wanted to do something a little different than what I usually do. (Come here, complain about something- probably boys, and have some self-revelation.) I wanted to talk about Earth Day because at the end of the day one thing all 7 billion of us have in common is- we all call this planet “home.”

            I am not an expert by any means, nor am I climate change activist, but as someone who loves the outdoors- I wanted to talk about a few things that we can do to help our beautiful home today and every day. Anything I mention are non-affiliated, I just want to share my preference/experiences.

            How can you do your part today and every day? You don’t have to go vegan, or revert to the stone age methods of candles and outhouses. There are plenty of small things you can do that can make a big impact over time.

Here are some things I try my best to do:

·      Turning off the water while you brush your teeth

·      Take shorter showers

·      Use reusable water bottles

·      Brown bag it, except use a lunch box

·      Use Tupperware instead of sandwich bags

·      Bring reusable bags to the grocery store

·      Sometimes you’ll forget your reusable bags, it happens. Just find a purpose for the plastic bags you get. I use them in the small trash cans around the house. (I’ve used them as a lunch bag when I couldn’t find my lunch box and I was in a pinch.)

·      Turn off the lights when you leave a room (assuming you leaving makes the room empty)

·      Recycle whatever you can, when you can

·      Buy local! Go to a farmer’s market and support local farmers

·      Make a plan on how you can reduce waste in your household. Whether it be recycling, making food before it spoils, or going beyond and starting your own compost!

·      If you see a piece of trash, pick it up and throw it away

·      Can you carpool or bike to wherever you were headed?

·      Buy recycled clothes

·      Buy cruelty free products, and products that come in recycled bottles

I once saw Oprah Winfrey on the Ellen show and she said one thing she would never give up is her high-water pressure in the shower. Honestly, I felt that. But there are plenty of things she does in return of that extra water waste.

Healthier, smarter alternatives don’t have to be a nuisance. Most don’t cost you extra. In fact, a lot of these can save you money. Wasting less food, lower electric/water bills, you could even take your recycling to a facility for cash.

Even if you don’t alter your ways, I doubt you just sit down and burn fossil fuels in your spare time. At least get outside today. Enjoy the fresh air, take a hike, walk your dog, take the kids to the park. Take a few minutes to be grateful for the world we live in, no matter how broken it seems sometimes.

Down below is some Earth Day inspiration for you. From music to foundations that benefit not just earth, but the beautiful creatures we share it with. When we help each other- we all win!

Earth Day Playlist:

Earth – Lil Dicky

What Do I Know? - Ed Sheeran

In This Together – Ellie Goulding

Woodland – The Paper Kites

Big Yellow Taxi – I prefer the Counting Crows remake, but feel free to opt for the original by Joni Mitchell

How Far We’ve Come – Matchbox 20

Waiting on the World to Change – John Mayer

Man in the Mirror – Michael Jackson

Here Comes the Sun – The Beatles

Somewhere Over the Rainbow – Israel Kamakawiwo’ole

Earth Day Netflix & Chill

Planet Earth

Tales by Light

Frozen Planet

Wild Alaska

Earth Day Donations:

Wildlife Warriors (Wildlife conservation started by Steve & Terri Irwin)

Protect Our Winters (POW for climate change by snowboarder Jeremy Jones)

Oceana (Ocean cleanup by actor Ted Danson)