Today is World Mental Health Day. I figured I'd give full transparency.
Things have been really hard lately. It feels like everything crashed down around me at once, taking me with it. As a result, my anxiety came back with a vengeance. It's to the point where it's not really manageable anymore. I'm saying these things out loud because admitting you have a problem is not the same as admitting defeat. The stigma's behind mental health should be left in the past with all the other bullshit society has told us is unacceptable. It is fully acceptable to not be ok. It is fully acceptable to need help, and to ask for it. It is fully acceptable to have bad days. It's even acceptable to feel like you have more bad days than good. It's ok to struggle with bi-polar disorder, mania, depression, schizophrenia, eating disorders, etc. Having an imbalance doesn't make you any less of a person. It doesn't make you weak, or broken. It makes you human.
What's unacceptable is doing it alone, lashing out at those you love, or harming yourself or others. Not everything can be solved by yourself. Sometimes the issues are deeper than your loved ones even being enough to help, and that's ok. 2020 has been a shit storm for the vast majority of the worlds population. Everything got put on hold, pushed back, turned upside and shaken up. It's ok to feel the effects. It's also ok if it has nothing to do with this year.
Mental health is the most important part of our being. We have to take care of ourselves, and check in on each other. One of the best questions you can ask someone is: "How are you, really?" We also need to stop giving "I'm fine" as an acceptable response. Because sometimes we're not fine, and yeah - you guessed it! That is OK.
I haven't been fine, but I will be. I have a support system, and I have a plan. I can't ask for much more than that. I hope you have a safe space you can go to, and people you can confide in. If you can't - make this your safe space. Leave a comment or even an anonymous one, and let it all out.
I hope we can all be a little gentler, a little kinder, and a little more understanding. Take time for yourself. It's not selfish to put yourself first. It's necessary. Talk to someone, write in a journal, sleep until noon, drink lots of water, take your meds, get outside, scream into your pillow, pet a dog, take a bath, don't forget to eat something. Whatever your best is, even if it's just getting out of bed - do that. It wont make everything better, but it's a start.
