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Facts from: endsexualviolenceect.org

"One in four women and one in 6 men will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. In 8 out of 10 rape cases, the victim knows the perpetrator. Nearly 6 out of 10 sexual assaults occur in the victim’s home or the home of a friend, relative, or neighbor."

            I recently saw a video going around on Facebook of Trump at some rally talking about Elizabeth Warren. To sum it up he said “I’m going to get Pocahontas a DNA kit, and I’m going to toss it at her – very gently- (in a mocking tone) because we’re in this ‘me too’ movement, so hopefully it doesn’t hit her hard in the arm.” Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t meant to be a political post, but this video got me thinking. This isn’t a #metoo “movement”. It’s a final straw. Women are done being objectified, underrated, taken advantage of, harassed, and assaulted. I’m one of those women. This is something I never intended to put online, but I think it’s important for us to speak up.

             A guy I trusted slipped something into the drink he so kindly bought me, and then dragged me through the city to his apartment. I woke up with my shorts around my ankles confused, disoriented, bruises on my arms, and humiliated. He was my friend? What kind of person does this? I had to go to my cousins birthday party that next day. I had to meet my god daughter for the first time with those bruises forever in the photos. I had a close friend tell me I was probably wrong, and he didn't actually do this to me. I think the disbelief hurt worse than the actual act.

 It took a long time for me to be ok again. It took a lot of love and patience from friends and family. It’s an uncomfortable story to tell, but I’m not embarrassed about it anymore. I was with people I knew, and I thought I was in a safe environment. I thought I was doing everything right for a safe night out. He’s the one who should be embarrassed. Society will say: “You shouldn’t have been drinking. Maybe if you weren’t wearing a crop top, and accepting his drink offers, he wouldn’t have taken it as a sign of approval.” I call bullshit. I shouldn’t have to hide in my house trusting no one. This kid grew up in my neighborhood. We were friends. I knew him. Why should I, a legal adult, have to not engage in the party?

I tell this story because I’m not ashamed. I’m not what happened to me, none of us are. I’m hoping the more we talk about it, the more society will see what a problem we have. It’s time to reset the standards, shut down those who shut us down, and start applying accountability to the perpetrators. If you have a story to tell, but you're afraid, feel free to leave it here. Get a conversation started because no one should have to hold onto these horrors alone.