I guess part of working on your
vulnerability is working on allowing yourself to feel all of the emotions.
Including the ones that make you uncomfortable.
For me, the main emotion I try to
ignore is sadness. I know it’s inevitable, but I’m an avoider. I’ll start to
feel sad and then I’ll do whatever I can to take my mind off of it. That’s not
necessarily a bad thing, except, I never just accept the emotion.
So once I slow down (because eventually you have to) and the
dust settles…sadness sets in again. Rinse and repeat the cycle.
I’ve
learned it’s more exhausting running from the feeling than the feeling itself.
I also think the avoidance played a major roll in my depression a few years
ago. I couldn’t run from the overwhelming emotions anymore, but I also didn’t
know how to handle them and I collapsed under the weight. It was to the point
where I was lashing at out at everyone around me, I couldn’t sleep at night, I
was eating once a day, and I nearly failed out of college. My depression was
caused by a multitude of demons, but the main demon was myself. I was
inflicting emotional harm on myself and running from the damage. In return, I
would make the same mistakes over and over again because – what did I learn if I gave it no attention?
Life is a
constant learning curve. I wasn’t feeling my best today, so I tried to address
why, and then let myself feel it. Tomorrow is a new day, and I have hope that
it’ll be better. But if it isn’t, that’s ok because the other thing I’ve learned
is- this will pass if I let it.
No comments:
Post a Comment